READ: Identity Via Condiments, Here Is The 'Sauce' Of All Truth

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WORDS BY: Guy Webster

I have this weird habit that I’ll happily admit to the internet (cause that’s what the internet’s for, right?). Basically, when I was ten, I discovered the beauty of lemon spread on toast with a sprinkle of coconut flakes – like some sort of tropical cousin to fairy bread. It’d be lemons from this tree outside this farm in Wagga Wagga, and coconut ice my Nan was so dedicated to (don’t fuck with her coconut ice I swear she’ll cut a bitch). It’s equal parts nostalgic childhood memories and a damn delectable treat. Basically, my entire identity is shaped around this lemony-coconut combo and I am nothing without it.

All of us have a condiment-centred dish that immediately hurls us down some kind of reflective journey. Memory lane is lined with bottles of Tomato Sauce, and we’re kicking and screaming through all the memes as we walk down it. Is this deep?

A friend of mine watched me gag when they drowned a fish eye in soy sauce. A random person I didn’t know at the food court shuffled away, terrified, when I couldn’t help but stare at them crush up Cheetos and sprinkle them on a Mayo sandwich.

WHO ARE YOU, MYSTERIOUS CHEETO STRANGER??

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Anyway, it got me thinking about the fact that, not only does food define us, but a unique condiment can carry memories, cultural traditions, and nostalgic reflections in between liquidy layers of goodness.

Layered on top of that nostalgic meme of me and Nan making coconut ice and crushing lemons to oblivion is also the first time I showed someone else our Frankenstinian creation. The first time someone gawked with astonishment at my unique condiment recipe, or tried it in-between bated breath. This food-stuff has the good-stuff, and it’s all packed with just damn great memories.

So I asked my mates what their weird and wonderful food combo is, cause why the hell not?

Here are some of the weirdest dishes we found:

  1. Tomato Sauce and Peanut Butter: or PB & K as my American mate called it.

  2. Butter, Sprinkles, Crushed up Oreo and a Dusting of Milo (this one’s just delicious).

  3. Fish Sauce, Asian-style Pancakes, and green beans.

  4. Lamb’s brains and Worcester sauce.

  5. Thousand Island Dressing and Rum: (an alcoholic option that’ll certainly clean the system, but at what cost??)

  6. Fried Chicken dipped in soy sauce

  7. Stewed Apple, Cornflakes and Cream (Tried, tested and top-notch)

Whether it’s a classic slice of fairy bread, or something a bit weirder, it seems like we’ve all got that one dish that screams nostalgia. It’s one part condiment, two parts childhood memory, and maybe a dash of an existential journey on a Sunday night?

*chews sadly on slice of lemon spread toast*

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